„Feliks! Feliks! Slovakia has been taken!” Boleslaus yelled to him.
Poland turned to the king. “Eeeeh? Like, he totally lost? Poor guy. He was totally fine.” Poland shrugged. “Like, fine to totally beat, that is. We should’ve totally done it.”
Boleslaus waved away his reply. “Never mind that now! The country which beat him is that mysterious one!”
“Like, you mean the one that totally appeared out of nowhere?” Poland said, his curiosity rising.
“Exactly! He will come soon to meet you, since he’s our neighbor now.”
“Like, no! I totally won’t meet him!” Poland’s knees started to tremble.
Beads of sweat appeared on Boleslaus’ face. “Listen, Feliks, you have to do this. He is dangerous. He might be a threat, so we have to be in his good books, or at least seem as a mighty empire.”
“But, like, aren’t we a totally mighty empire?” Poland said, suddenly surprised.
“Well, we are. But he might be even mightier. It’s better not to check. Just go and meet him!” Boleslaus ordered him.
“I totally don’t want to!” He wailed.
“Go! Oh no, was that the door? Oh no-“ but he didn’t have time to finish. Poland sped past him and quickly sat down on the throne, looking down at the opening door.
He didn’t have long to wait, till another small and young country such as himself came in and looked around.
Poland did a quick check of the newcomer before the other spoke up. Hair to the neck, tied back for comfort. Simple green clothes, long boots, cape, a sword, arrows and bow. Seemed ready to fight at any moment.
Then, the country looked up – his eyes were green, too, and full of determination, pride and self-confidence. The most dangerous type in combat.
“So, you’re the almighty Poland.” He looked around and nodded appreciatively. “Nice house.”
“Yes, I am.” Poland said, doing his best to keep his voice and words as formal as possible. “I appreciate your compliment.” He added, looking at the newcomer with as much authority as possible. He seemed to notice that.
“So, down to the point.” The newcomer came over and stood in front of the throne. “I have successfully beaten Slovakia. He belongs to me now, which means I’m your neighbor now.” He smiled, his smile full of self-confidence. “My name is Hungary. If I like you, I’ll make you my ally. If not – well, you’ll end like old Slovakia. I hope our time as neighbors will be only filled with peace without any unnecessary quarrels.”
Poland couldn’t hold it any more. Jumping up from the throne he grinned and said. “Like, I totally hope so too!”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Boleslaus’ face fall. He wondered why.
---
“And-And did you see his face?! Unforgettable! That’s the last we’ll be hearing from that German Empire!” Hungary laughed. Poland smiled next to him.
They were on one of his fields, and he was fiddling with some grass while Hungary was lying down next to him, playing with a grass blade in his mouth.
“Like, I’m totally sure of that!” Poland said, crossing his legs. “You, like, totally kicked his ass! He’s, like, so sorry he totally started that fight!”
“Haha, yeah!” Hungary turned on his side with sparks in his eyes. “You were great too! That one time, if you didn’t come, I don’t know what he’d have done.” He lay back down. “So I guess I just wanted to say thanks.”
Poland smiled in his direction. “There’s totally no need. I’m like, so sure you’d have done totally the same for me.”
----
“Hey! Russ Halytska was mine! How dare you take it from me!” Hungary stormed into Poland’s place.
He looked up at her calmly, with a slight grin. “Like, winners keepers losers weepers. You totally have to live with it.”
Hungary wasn’t amused. “You’ll pay for this Poland, I tell you, you will..” He stormed back out again, fuming.
Poland shrugged and returned to his paper. “I’d totally like to see you try.” He murmured to himself.
---
“Like, wha-?! When did you totally-?!”
“I said you’d pay. Now if I’m correct, Russ returns to me.”
“But that’s totally not fair!”
“All’s fair in love and war.” Hungary smiled evilly. “Give me Russ.”
Poland grumbled a bit. “Fine…”
---
“Po-Poland! You’ll never know what happened!” Hungary came sobbing.
“What?! Like, what happened?!” Poland stood up on the field he was in. Hungary stopped a few meters from him, his face covered in tears.
“I…I…” He started, and then new tears spilled.
“Hungary, are you totally alright?” Poland was alarmed. He took a step forward, and Hungary instantly backed away.
“N-No! Don’t come!” He took in a few wobbly breaths. “I…I’m a girl!” He finally screamed out.
Poland blinked, not knowing what the problem was. “And?”
Hungary looked at him, horrified. “Don’t you see?! I’m a girl!”
Poland still didn’t understand. “I totally still don’t understand what’s, like, the problem.”
“That’s the problem! I’m a GIRL!”
He smiled with relief. “So, like, that’s it?”
“How can you say that’s it?! I’m a girl! Nobody will respect me anymore!” He (She) broke into fresh tears.
Poland laughed quietly and closed the distance between them. Only now he noticed what should have been obvious – Hungary’s long hair, her body quite plainly that of a woman’s, and of course, her huge, yet beautiful eyes.
“Like, nobody will totally stop respecting you for that. They, like, lost way too many wars with you to totally think that.” He patted her shoulder. “Who totally told you that, anyway?”
She looked up at him, her eyes still full of tears. “Prussia!” She said angrily. “Not long ago I told him how my chest hurt, and he told me now that I’m a girl! And- And he’s right!” She poked one of her breasts. “I’ve got this!”
Poland looked down at her finger poking her breast. And then he got a slap in the face.
“Hey! You’d know better than look there!” She said angrily, crossing her arms to hide her breasts.
Poland massaged his face and looked at her. “But, like, you totally pointed!”
“Just because I pointed doesn’t mean you have to look!”
“Countries point when they totally want others to look!”
“No, they point to prove their words!”
Poland and Hungary stared at each other angrily for a minute, and then broke into fits of laughter. When Poland finally stopped, he looked at Hungary with affection.
“Like, girl or not girl, you’re still totally the Hungary I know. And that’s, like, the only thing that totally counts.”
Hungary’s doubts returned to her face. “But if others will really lose their respect for me…”
“..Then you’ll totally show them how you, like, totally kick ass as a girl.” Poland smiled, and picked a flower from the field and put it into Hungary’s hair. She touched it fleetingly before concentrating back to Poland, who smiled.
“Like, don’t worry. Everything will be totally fine.”
---
“Vhat?”
“No.”
“You dare tell me no?”
“Yeah, I do.” Hungary crossed her arms and stared at Germany with a challenging look.
Germany stared back. “Vhat do you care if I go und attack Poland? All you have to do is let me through your boundaries. You don’t need to take part. And anyway, you are my ally.”
Hungary continued staring at him. “And I won’t let you do that. I will never take any part in the attack of Poland. I’d never betray him like that, especially after what he did to help me.”
Germany stared at her as he chewed things over. “Then let me get veapons over to Poland through you. That vay ve vill at least have the necessary eqvipment.”
“Again, no. Don’t you understand? You are NOT going to use me to get to Poland. I won’t allow it.”
Germany narrowed his eyes.
“Do you know vhat it means to say no to me? This is the great var. Don’t play dumb.”
Hungary didn’t even blink. “By saying no to you means staying truthful to a friend. That’s what it means. And if you try to so much as touch me – I’m certain he’ll come running to help me. For that’s what friends do.”
“Vhat about more money? I can pay you more. As I know it, you still have a lot of people to heal after that uprising of yours.”
“No thanks. POLAND came and gave us enough blood and other treatment to heal all of us. We just have to wait for it to work.” She turned on her heels. “I guess this meeting is finished.”
---
“Like, you WHAT?!”
“He won’t attack you from my side, but he will try. Get ready for it.”
Poland stood by the phone, not believing what he heard. “Do you totally know what you did?! He like, has an excuse to attack you now! Totally break your bonds! Go over there and totally tell him you, like, change your mind!”
“But that would mean that he’d attack you!”
“But I’d totally be certain you’re, like, safe.” Poland closed his eyes, not wanting to imagine more horrors in Hungary’s life. “You, like, have totally lived through enough. Go to his side.”
“No.”
“But, like, I totally have to know you’re safe! It’s, like, a huge mistake!”
“You’re quite selfish, you know? What if I want you to be safe too, huh? I’m not going back. I’m not going to betray you.”
“Hungary…”
“I have to go now. Talk to you later!”
Poland stared at the phone in his hands, sudden affection flooding his heart. Oh, Hungary…
---
Poland rushed to Hungary’s house as quickly as possible after he heard the news. He stopped in front of it.
It was all Hungary’s house again – not hers and Austria’s. Since her first house had been demolished completely, this one was new. Poland never saw it before, but it seemed quite empty and cold.
Poland approached the door and knocked. Nobody answered. He tried opening the door, and it gave way.
“Hungary? Are you totally here?” He whispered.
Nobody answered, but he thought he heard sobbing upstairs. Slowly, he walked up the stairs and towards the sound of the crying – behind a closed door. He quietly opened it, and found Hungary kneeling beside a piano – crying to herself.
Poland came over and put his hand on her shoulder. She didn’t move.
He sat down next to her and put his arm around her – comforting her, waiting for her to talk.
“I- I should’ve seen it c-coming…” She sobbed out after a few minutes. “H-He was becoming m-more distant with every day, a-and then c-came that c-cursed w-wa-a-r!” She sobbed again. Poland hugged her tight, and started gently rocking her. Hungary slowly regained control of herself and continued talking.
“When h-he lost he b-blamed me for it… and h-he said it was all my fault… that I didn’t fight enough… that I didn’t help him… And- And th-that’s not t-true!” Hungary burst into fresh tears. Poland continued to rock her gently, still not saying anything.
“A-And I was angry… a-and… Oh, P-Poland!” She cried out, and turned her head to his chest as she cried harder still.
Poland hugged her closer still, patting her head as he started humming soothingly. He never felt much anything to Austria, but he knew how Hungary must have felt. Hungary acted impulsively, as she did a lot. Breaking up with Austria and declaring herself a republic wasn’t rational thinking – and she was starting to regret it. Poland felt extremely sad for Hungary’s pain and loss.
“Like, for the future to totally become better, things have to first end.” He said finally. “And, like, I’m totally sure your future will be like, the brightest of all.” He said softly to her, closing his eyes. He had gone through a lot with Hungary, but he had also gone through a lot because of her. The time she came to him happily, that she and Austria were one now, was the day Poland had dreaded from the very beginning. And now, the day that she was her own country again – Poland just wished it had happened in an easier way for Hungary to take.
For how could he be happy from her loss?
---
Poland stood in front of Hungary’s house. It seemed warmer now, from the first time he saw it – it already lived through the second world war, and during all those years Hungary made it more comfortable, better.
He smiled as he was about to knock on the door, when the door opened itself.
“Poland!” Hungary laughed, pulling him into a big hug.
“Like, it’s totally good to see you too!” Poland laughed. “So, like, what’s the news?”
“They agreed!” Her eyes were shining. “I’m now in the Union! What about you?”
Poland grinned as he raised his letter.
Hungary clapped her hands as she laughed again and hugged him again. “It’s so great we got in, right?” She said brightly.
Poland nodded excitedly. “Like, totally. That psycho Russia totally won’t be able to touch me again! Or, like, the Union will totally stand at my side!” He said.
“Not only that, but think how great a system this is! Everyone trusting everyone, like I trust you! Everyone being friends with everyone, like you being my friend!” She said happily.
Poland’s smile faltered a bit. “Like, yeah…”
‘You being my friend’… just a friend…
---
“So, what’s this all about?” Hungary asked curiously.
“Like, just wait and totally see.” Poland smiled mysteriously.
“I don’t want to wait! You told me to dress formally, like if we were to go to some ball! And look at you! You’re wearing a SUIT, for heavens’ sake! You never wear a suit!” Hungary said, annoyed. “Tell me where we are going, now.”
Poland pouted. “I totally put on my suit sometimes. After that I, like, definitely won’t tell you where we’re totally going.”
Hungary crossed her arms. “You’re so stubborn.”
“I, like, totally know.” He grinned. He shut down the car and looked at her. “Now, like, close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Like, just do it. You totally won’t regret it.”
“We’ll see.” She sighed, but closed her eyes. Poland exited the car and opened the passenger’s door, and picked her up.
“Hey! What are you doing! Put me down!” She said angrily.
Poland just laughed. “Like, just relax. I told you, you totally won’t regret it.”
Hungary’s face clearly stated she didn’t think so, but she kept her eyes shut as she clung on to Poland’s neck.
Poland went towards the beach.
Suddenly something in Hungary’s face changed.
“Is that…?”
“Just totally wait and see.”
He stopped right in front of the water’s edge, and slowly put Hungary down. She gasped as the cold water touched her feet.
“Like, open your eyes now.” Poland whispered behind her.
Hungary opened her eyes, and gasped again. In front of her, the sun was setting – making the water turn orange as it gently lapped over her feet. The birds cawed from the sky, and a few clouds were moving lazily across the sky.
“You… you brought me to the seaside?” She whispered out.
“I totally wanted you to see the setting sun over, like, my seaside. Like, what do you think?” He said quietly.
“It’s… it’s really wonderful! You remembered what I told you about the seaside? All those years?”
Poland smiled. “Like, yeah. I totally thought you’d like to see it finally.” He said softly. Seeing her face glowing with happiness – it made all of his efforts worthwhile.
Hungary turned to him, confused. “But then, why did you make me wear formal clothes?”
Poland smiled again. “Like, to dance.” He motioned to an earlier prepared by him wooden platform, with white curtains draped over wooden poles gently flapping in the light sea breeze.
“You… You made this yourself? For me?”
“Yeah. I totally wanted to. Like, may I?” He held out a hand.
Hungary laughed and grabbed his hand.
Poland led her towards the platform and took her waist. She, smiling lightly, grabbed his shoulder, and they began their dance.
After a while, Hungary asked a question she was longing to ask. “Why did you do all this?” She said quietly. It seemed only proper to whisper.
“Like, I felt like it. I totally wanted to do something for you.”
“But this is so unlike you! You never went through so much trouble for something!”
“Because I totally never cared for something as much.” He answered softly, pulling her closer.
Hungary’s eyes widened. “Wha…?”
“Hungary, I totally never had the courage to say this, because you, like, always thought of me as a friend and…”
“Wait just a sec. Is this a confession?”
Poland’s cheeks turned bright red. “Is it, like, that obvious?”
“Yeah, a bit.”
Poland laughed bitterly. “Like, so much for my totally practiced speech. And I totally wanted it to be romantic.”
Hungary smiled back to him. “Not all’s lost yet.” She whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
At first, Poland was surprised, but after a moment he replied with equal or stronger enthusiasm, picking her up in his happiness so that she laughed.
And what a lovely sound that was.