At the Car Wash [France / Reader] +Extreme Crack+

[teleozoicGlissando]

WARNING: This x Reader is a mature-type story. It has constant abuse of profanity and also involves France.




If you haven't clicked out of this yet, feel free to continue reading. Also- I have to thank Breadmark for helping me make this and forcing me to add more.

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At the Car Wash



You and Francis were washing a red Ferrari, and he was getting really into it. He did things to that car that are not meant to be written on paper- such wonderful things. Random women even took off their large ass shades to stop and take a view.

You, becoming jealous, decided to take it to the next level. You grabbed the hose and sprayed Francis with it, he stopped and turned to face you, soaking wet and looking super unrealistically sexy in the bright sunlight. He even had one of those perfect guy sparkles floating beside his head. Your plan just like, totally backfired on you, LOL.

Oh.. it was on.

You looked at your agenda: Science Concepts Evaluation

Just as planned...



-Ze seCONDS Latair-



Francis was bowing to you in defeat, your face was all like : D

"Kiss my boot."

He actually seemed to be liking it, which you found weird. Instead of kissing your boot though, he 'omnomnommed' them.

You summoned your bitch Canadia to get you a newspaper, which you whacked Francis upside the head with, "Stop giving this story a plot!"

"I am ze zo zorry D: "

And then you both had sexytiems in the middle of the driveway, everyone watched. It was awesome.


.~.


You smacked Francis downside the head with your ghetto ass computer mouse. How old is your computer, you ask? Pretty damn old. I say!

"Don't touch me there!"

"But whai not?"

"That is my sacred place!"

"But zat iz your armzee-zee-onhonhon-derp."

You held onto your violated arm for dear life- even though you could survive without it- in a creepy way, keeping your knees pressed against your chest.

"My prettiessssss..."

" D: "

" ):< "

" ; A ; "

" I:< "

Poland slapped you with his frilly, pink purse, "Don't you ever like, dare, like, call me gay, like totally, like, betch, we can get it on right now, if you like, want to," he snapped his fingers in a sassy 'Z' formation. You stood up. The atmosphere in the room got tense- so tense that it made France tense. He bitched for a massage, "I am bitching for a massage."

You took off the badass shades you never remembered putting on, "It looks like the rules... Just got screwed."


-YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!-


And then suddenly, you passed 'Go.'

"Oh shitttt!!!" -hat flipped off by flaily hands-

"_____, watch my scrotum."

"Whut..."

"Exactly."

"Fuck."

"That's what yo' momma said."

"I thought I said that too?"

"You did, but not as recently."

"That's a pretty small gun, Vash."

"... Shut up."


And then... I added moar.

Everyone was at the car wash, dancing like idiots while cars were pulled out of the tunnel by the belt. It was weird.

And we saw Roderich washing windows.. in a tutu.


And then Iris demanded even moar, not accepting my abrupt and random endings. She also wanted to be in the story. Milton's little buddies were happy, they even had little smiley faces on them.

France was so excited that he and England had a cardboard box party, and everyone but Australia was invited. Keep in mind- this was all happening outside of the car-wash. The owners were intrigued, yet disturbed at the same time.

It was made in China- this made Iris so jo that she exploded into a bunch of confetti never to be mentioned in this story again.

And then I mentioned her again, because Milton ate her confetti dust remains. But everyone was too busy Disco Pogoing to notice him dying a very dramatic and graphic death due to the evil magic that the confetti held.

Matthias was slapping bitches with napkins. Bitches love napkins. Especially Italy, he was getting off on it while he wiped Alfred-o Cheese sauce all over his bone-.. less chicken.

Iris told me that I couldn't end this yet. Lol, she's going to end up reading this anyways so whatever- I mentioned her again. Then, the world exploded and everyone died except Izaya- who was already prepared to stalk observe the next species to inhabit our universe.

Shizuo survived too because Izaya says it works this way.