What happened after Smolensk [PolandxRussia]

[Weronikus]

[I was inspired by a news report I watched yesterday, about how there's chaos going on with the bodies from the Catastrophy under Smolensk, since it seems many people think it's not their relatives in the coffins. The thing with the hair though is fictional, since I don't know all the details as to how they came to thinking why the bodies are swapped. So, here it is.]


Russia sighed angrily as he stood over the damaged wreck. It was nearly time for dinner, and they still didn’t finish with all the stupid DNA tests. After finally all the Polish doctors left, Russia smiled to his people.
“So what are we to do now?” They asked.
Russia checked his watch.
“They wanted the bodies tomorrow, so let’s name them today, da?”
“But we still aren’t sure which are which and – “
Russia smiled pleasantly to them.
“Don’t worry, da? They won’t check. Just throw them into the coffins. But put them in the right proportions, so three legs won’t be in one coffin, da?” He laughed merrily.
His people shrugged to themselves and did as they were told. Russia nodded happily. Now he’ll be free to go eat some pirozhki earlier than he was to. Once they were done, Russia and the rest left for their houses. The next day he arrived to solemnly nod and gravely answer the questions to erase any suspicions, and Russia was finally free from the troubling plane wreckage in Smolensk.
The Polish people, seeing that Russia did a good job, or so they thought, packed up the coffins and took them back to the dead peoples’ families.

---------2 years later----------

Poland was called to an emergency meeting with the son of a politician.
“Like, do I totally have to?! I totally wanted to paint the house today…” He sighed but obeyed.
Once he was on the spot they were to meet, he saw a lot of news reporters already there.
“Like, what’s totally happening?” He wondered. Upon seeing him, the politician’s son hurried up to him and pulled him towards the grave. Poland stared at the grave.
“Like, I totally know this is your dead mother… I, like, already totally told you how deeply sorry I was…” He said, a bit annoyed that he got pulled over here just for this.
“No! No, that’s not it! That’s not my mother!” The son said to him frantically.
Poland knitted his eyebrows. “But like, she was the one dead in the totally awful plane crash in Smolensk, right? So, like, that’s totally her.”
“Exactly! It should, but it isn’t! I knew there was something wrong the moment I saw her body parts, but then I thought I was wrong… but now I’m certain.”
Poland was now positively curious. “Like, then totally take out that coffin! We, like, totally have to see what’s wrong.”
The people gathered obeyed, and pulled out the two-year-old coffin from the grave. The son quickly opened it and looked inside.
“I knew it! I knew it! My mother didn’t have black hair! Her hair was brown! And she never, ever dyed them!” He pointed frantically towards the already decaying head.
Poland and the rest gasped. Poland checked one more time, and then his fists clenched, so hard that his skin turned white.
“Like, Russia…” He breathed out angrily. “You, like, totally will pay for this, psycho!” He yelled to the skies.

Russia stared at the news report. Something about wrong body parts…?
“Nothing’s wrong.” He said to himself cheerfully. “After all, all problems will be solved once everyone becomes one with Mother Russia, da?” He laughed cheerfully to himself and went to make some supper.