“Like, Hi and welcome to my totally great programme, Pink ’n’ Ponies! In it I’ll totally describe all things about, like, me! So, like, to introduce myself, I am totally the coolest Poland! I’m totally going to hold this programme, in which I’ll totally talk about cool scenes which got to do with me! I also, like, want to present my totally great helpers. The first one, my totally great friend who, like, totally loves me beyond measure - ”
Backround noises and a groan
“I told you not to get carried away, didn’t I?!”
“Like, sorry… so that was totally Hungary! Who totally thinks there’s, like, nothing better than being here – “
Background noises
“Give-me-that-mike! Well, hello people, whoever is listening to his, please know that I’ve been brought here against my - ”
“No! Like, totally give it back! Ha ha! Like, anyway, going on, I totally wanted to also present my second friend, who totally loves dressing up with me - ”
Background noises (again)
“Quit-telling-lies! And give me that mike!”
“Wh-What? Why Would you say that?!”
“Don’t listen to him Liet… And for goodness sake, give that mike!”
A lot of shouting
“Yes! Finally! So, Hi, here’s Hungary, and don’t listen to all those lies told to you by Poland - ”
“Hey, they totally weren’t - ”
“ANYWAY, moving on, the third person here is Lithuania, also known as Liet by Poland, and would you like to say a few words?”
“M-Me? We-well hello, I guess… N-Nice to be here…”
“I totally want my - ”
“SO, that was a very nice intro, Lithuania. And now, dear listeners, Poland will tell you what happens next.”
“Yes! I totally have it back! So, like, after meeting my friends, I totally want to move on. Like, in this totally cool programme we’ll do totally fun things! Like, let’s start with a small game!”
“Sounds fine by me. What about you?”
“Wait- Wh-What game?!”
“Ah yes, totally thanks for asking that question, Liet! So, in this totally cool game I’m, like, going to put a book written in Polish on the hall way. Like, other countries will totally pass it and we’ll, like, see their reaction on seeing it! So, are you ready?!”
“Ooh, seems fun! Let’s start!”
“O-Okay…”
“Like, alright! The first country will totally be England! Then, like, other countries will join him in the speculations. I totally can’t wait! So, let’s see how it turns out!”
-----
England walks in
A stumble and a yell can be heard.
“What the bloody hell was that?! Who tripped me?! Wha-?”
Background noises (picking up the book by England)
“What the bloody is this? It seems like a code… Aha! Since I’m great with codes, I can break it! Oh I so hope it’s France’s secret letter… He’ll never sleep soundly again! Hahaha! Now, how to break it…”
Flipping of pages
“This doesn’t have any clues! What bloody idiot made a code without a sequence?!”
France walks in
“Are you alright, mon ami~?”
“France! You bloody idiot! You wrote a secret code without a sequence, you frog!”
“Oh honhonhon, but zat is not mine! Did you suspect moi of ‘aving such unfashionable ways? Only ze black sheep of Europe could do zat~”
“Shut up, you bloody fool!”
A clatter, shouts and muffled sounds can be heard (we can speculate the two are fighting)
Germany walks in
“Vhat are you two doing?!!!”
“Germany!”
“It’s his bloody fault he can’t read his own codes!”
“As I said, it is not my code…”
“Vhat code?”
“That over there! And it has the accents you have in your language!”
“But England! My accents are at the top, not at the bottom!”
“What do I care you frog! You changed them, for it’s a code! DUH!”
“Ohonhonhon…”
“Stop it! STOP it, I say!”
“SILENCE!”
Stillness
“Now I vill check it and you two stay silent!”
“Oui, Oui…”
“Fine, but you won’t find anything useful anyway! Bloody fool, thinks he’s better than me…”
“I can’t understand a vord from this! It seems like a sort of code-”
“I already got to that, you bloody fool!”
“-but whose can it be? This vord seems very familiar… Ja, Ja, it’s possible this is Russia’s. He has vords like this.”
“Eeeh? Someone called me?”
“Oh n-no! It’s M-Master Russia! He-He’ll kill me…”
“Totally shut up Liet, he, like, can’t see you, it’s totally alright!”
“Shut up the both of you, or they’ll hear us!”
“Guten Tag, Russia.”
”Was that, like, totally me, or did he seem a bit more, like, stiff?”
“Who cares, just shut up!”
“Hello! How can I help~?”
“N-No need, Russia… I- I guess I’ll just be going, then… good luck with zat livre!”
“Oh no, you’re staying you frog!”
“What’s zat? Do you want me to comfort you, mon ami~?”
“Shut up you frog!”
“I can silence him, if you like, da?”
“Bloody h-hell, why d-do you have a bloody AXE with you?!”
“SHUT UP!”
Silence.
“Right, so ve found this book, and ve hoped you vould help. Is this your writing?”
“Nieeet~!”
“VHAT?!/BLOODY WHAT?!/’OW IS ZAT POSSIBLE!”
“I don’t write with such letters, silly you! And anyway, why do you need to know that? Everyone will be writing with Cyrillic letters when they become one with Mother Russia!”
“Aaaah, Germany, he’s got that bloody aura again…”
“If it’s not yours, whose can it be?”
“Mmmm…. It looks familiar… I think I know-“
“Uh-oh, he’s totally going to guess-“
“Shut up!”
“Bongiorno~! Did I miss something important?! Oooh, Doitsu, there’s sooo much I need to tell you-“
“Not now, Italy!”
“B-but you never have time for me n-noow…!”
“Italy, don’t you even DARE cry!”
“Oh, my sweet Italie is ‘ere! Won’t you greet your big brother the Italian style, hm?”
“Bongiorno, Big Brother!”
“I wonder when he’ll find out that frog’s a bloody pervert…”
“…Who knovs…”
“Hey, Doitsu, what’s that~?”
“Oh, this? A book ve found, ve don’t know who it belongs too…”
“Let me see it!”
“Fine, here.”
Flipping of pages.
“It looks familiar! Wait, I know, I know! Let me think…”
“As I said, it doesn’t matter, da?”
“Oh n-no, Doitsu, it’s Russiaaaaa~!”
“H-hey, vhat are you hiding behind me for?!”
“He’s sc-cary…”
“Whaaaat? England, I’m scary?”
“T-The hell n-no!”
“Non, Non, of course not!”
“So become one with me, da?”
“NO!/NON!”
“This is totally getting boring… Maybe, like, I’ll go and say it’s me already…?”
“Wait, others are coming!”
“But it’ll totally just get more boring…”
“Wait, I think I hear America! You’ll go later, just listen for now!”
“Hey, ya guys! Whatcha all standing there for? Couldn’t wait for me to come?”
“Of course not, you bloody fool!”
“Aww man, England, you can always lower other people’s mood…”
“It’ll only do you good, you self-centered fool!”
“Hey, what’s that?”
“Hey, don’t you bloody ignore me!”
“Vell, ve don’t actually know…”
“Then it’s a job for a hero! Gimme it, I’ll know!”
Flipping of pages.
“Yeah! I know what it is!”
“YOU DO?!”
“Sure I do! You guys suck, it’s so darn easy… Well, a hero had to come to check it out, you’re all to stupid!”
“You bloody-“
“So vhat is it?!”
“A code!”
Background noises (a bang, to be precise)
“We knew that from the beginning, you fool!”
“Ve, what code is it?!”
“Wait, I need my hero time to think…”
Silence…
“AHA!”
“Vhat is it?!/Well then, say something already you bloody fool!/Is it really impotant~?/Say somezing, mon ami!/Ve~”
“I know what it is!”
“WHAT?!”
“A book about me!”
“WHAT?!”
“Look, there’s my airplane, so it’s got to be me…”
“…Wait, America’s plane in your book?”
“Oh yeah, I totally think I put my history book there…”
“Oh, Poland…”
“Vait, but- how could I not see it before! That’s Hitler’s portrait! Vhat lunatic-“
“Hey, dude, I’m sure it’s just a joke! Who would ever write a book about him? And totally yo, Stalin was so much worse.”
“KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL….”
“Oi, America, I think you have just pissed off Russia.”
“Dude, that sucks! Sorry, Russia…”
“Ohhonhon, I don’t zink a sorry will ‘elp ‘ere, oui? You ‘ave to show you are sorry, like zis…”
“Dude, get off of me!”
“You frog, get off!”
“Jealous, are we~?”
“Bloody France!”
“…England, dude?”
“Ve, I want to play this game too! Doitsu!”
“Oh, Italy… Grow up!”
“Hey, Germany, what’s the cover of the book?”
“But mon ami, didn’t you see it first?”
“I did, but I looked inside not outside!”
“Let’s see…”
Sounds of closing the book.
“Aaah… Seems someone doesn’t know ‘ow to spell ‘istoire properly…”
“What the hell does that mean?!”
“Didn’t you learn your Francais, mon ami? ‘Istory, England, ‘Istory…”
“What do I care about that bloody French of yours!”
“History? So is this… a history book?”
“Ve~ Is there something about me?! Let me see!”
“Ve need to find out who it belongs to first!”
Footsteps; muffled sounds slowly getting more distinctive.
“…As I said, I wir not agree to that…”
“But, aru, we can achieve so much!”
“Japan! Dude, long time no see!”
“It took you a long time, China. Where’s my tea?”
“I won’t have such jokes, aru!”
“Yes, herro… What’s that?”
“A book we found, but we have no idea who it belongs to.”
“May I see?”
“What’s in it, aru?”
“I don’t know, that’s why I want to see.”
Shuffling of pages.
“This is even stranger than the funny symbors I saw before!”
“You can READ this, aru?!”
“No, ve can’t, that’s the point…”
“Like, is it totally my turn now?”
“Fine, if you must… Liet?”
“Y-Yeah, sure… Maybe Russia will go away then…”
“Yay!”
“Right then, let’s see how they’ll react to this setup.”
“Like, hey you guys!”
“Get away, Poland! We’re having an important discussion here!”
“You can stay at my place, if you want! All you have to do is become one with Mother Russia, da?”
“No, I totally won’t, you psycho! And, like, anyway, I totally know who that book belongs too!”
“YOU DO?!”
“Hey, dude, I found all the clues already!”
“Like, totally not all! I totally know who that belongs to!”
“WHO?!”
“Like, me!”
Silence, and then sudden noise.
“EVERYBODY SHUT UP!”
Silence.
“And how do you know it’s your book?”
“Because I totally put it there, to see your reaction! And, like, totally nobody guessed!”
“If you remember, I was close to, da? But someone got in my way…”
“Dude, why are you staring at me like that?”
“Ve~ I knew it, I knew it! I knew it was you all along!”
“So you made this situation?”
“Like, yeah!”
Silence, and then sudden shuffling.
“Like, guys? Why are you totally looking at me like tht? Guys? What?! N-“
“You bloody-“
Sudden yells and bangs.
“Ve~! It’s sc-caary! Ruuun awaaaay!”
Hurried footsteps can be heard over the overall mayhem.
“Oh dear, sounds like a fight just erupted! But I think he deserved that, don’t you?”
“Well, I-I don’t think he deserved to be beaten up by eight countries…”
“You’re looking into the details! No harm can be done, right? And it is his fault.”
“I-I guess…”
“So do I! So, fellow listeners, thank you for listening to Pink’n’Ponies. Check in with us every now and then to see when the second transmition will come! It all depends on Poland, of course. Goodbye for now!”
“Y-Yeah, bye…”
I might continue this - but I can't be certain.
.